Healing the Heart

I haven’t dedicated as much time to my blog or website as I would like to lately because Life takes pretty big unexpected turns sometimes. I am now back to grounding myself and hope to keep the posts, events and retreats coming.
 
I’ve been wanting to write about healing the heart some time ago, since I feel like people in general tend to avoid this topic. I can understand why, since society has associated the concept of love and relationship with conditions and control, when naturally and truly, love that flows does so in a complete opposite manner: unconditional and free.

In general, in the western world and especially in Latin America, for the most part society has taught us that the norm is for women to conform to their relationships, and for men to repress their feelings. These are also taught interchangeably. Most of the time, we pretend that everything is always okay and keep a completely dysfunctional relationship going on for decades and sometimes an entire lifetime. As long as no one knows about it, it’s okay.

There is so much to be said about this topic, so I’m going to stick to this subject concisely from my own life experience, hoping it can shed some light on your path.
 
I was clearly into boys since I was a little girl and had the kind of crushes and school boyfriends that you get a huge rush from just holding hands with. If anyone younger than me is reading this, please consider I grew up without TV, internet or pretty much any electronic devices and twerking wasn’t a thing. I had my first real boyfriend at the age of 15, which was actually a very serious relationship considering my age: it was long distance and I only got to see him every few months. Since then it’s been pretty much back to back dating and boyfriends. There was a lot of fantastic times, a lot of drama and a lot of heart breaking. Definitely a lot of learning and growing through these processes as well.
 
My longest relationship lasted about two years and a half. Although it was a loyal relationship, it’s hard for me to understand how two people can be together “for ever”. I don’t mean to be pessimistic, but this does seem like a dream… especially in the environment I am currently based (Dominican Republic). In this macho culture, relationships are based on lies and cheating. It’s the norm. So if you find yourself in a sacred and respectful relationship, honor that. It can be rare.
 
My past two consecutive relationships were with Dominicans and very heart braking in very different ways. Yes, I can say I knew what I was getting into, but I am also very good at flowing with love and listening to my heart instead of my head. My optimistic side is that I have faith in people and believe in evolution of consciousness.
 
I’ve been single for almost a year and a half now and it’s been a great and rough time. I’ve been on many adventures and spent a lot of time with myself, consciously allocating time to healing at a physical, emotional and spiritual level, with the intention of letting go of the accumulation of pain that comes with clinging on to negative past experiences. 

It ain’t easy folks, but what we feel inside is what we radiate, and my goal is to radiate nothing but beauty and light.
 
After my breakup last year, I attended an Integrative Nutrition conference in Miami, which was amazing. It was exactly what I needed: a weekend of support with a huge uplifting community of like-minded people who all gathered with open hearts and open minds to learn how to sustainably heal through nature. Since I enjoyed the conference so much, I barely had any time to think about my break up… until I came back home. What I want to illustrate is that a lot of people live their lives like this, and a lot of times not with such fulfilling activities, but basically doing things to “keep them busy”, so that they have less time to deal with their own self.
 
You can choose not to deal with your emotions, but you must understand that this means they are quietly stored inside your system and will eventually rise up again stronger than before. Basically, you can’t run away from yourself or your problems. They are coming with you wherever you go and I believe so even when you die, but that’s information for another blog post. For now, let’s stick to the heart.
 
Withholding intense emotions especially related to traumatic events is so unhealthy that when not dealt with, manifest in physical chronic conditions and diseases. It’s the body’s way of asking for help-of telling you that something needs to be taken care of. This is most of the time what disease is.
 
In modern medicine, people take care of symptoms but they don’t address the root cause. Why is your immune system struggling? Why do you have cysts? Why do you have heart disease?The why is never explored, when it’s actually the most important part of the equation. Functional Medicine and many alternate healing practices address the root cause of the condition. Why is this happening to me? What do I need to change in my life? What do I need to let go of?
 
After my conference I felt okay but wasn’t actively choosing to deal with myself at the time. I was coaching several clients and basically focusing on work. In June I went on a trip to California for 3 weeks, by myself. I was dreaming of that trip for a while, of when I was going to find the perfect occasion to go. Around May I realized that the present moment was perfect, so I booked it. This trip was awesome. Towards the end of my trip there was a moment where I was driving through this beautiful scenery and feeling complete bliss. Love was flowing out of my heart like never before. I was so happy with myself that I had made this happen. From me, to me. It was one of the best feelings ever. Working as a Health Coach, I expend a lot of my energy to support to my clients which is very gratifying, but means it’s essential for me to recharge with nurturing energy back so I can keep giving. We can’t pour from empty cups, so remember to refill and give to yourself before you give to others.
 
When we don’t practice love, our hearts start to get hard like a rock and close. Practicing love doesn’t necessarily need to be in a romantic relationship or even with someone else. Love is inside us, and we can even practice loving ourselves perfectly fine. Accepting yourself as you are is a huge act of love, as well as being kind to yourself. You can also love flowers and trees, and the food you nourish yourself with.

It’s your life and you can choose to live it as you want. But I suggest you don’t run away from yourself, don’t ignore your emotions. Because ignoring something will make it backfire more aggressively in the future. Don’t ignore your body’s signals. Your body is the most intelligent biocomputer that will ever exist. Honor that, honor yourself, embrace yourself, confront yourself, heal yourself. You are the only one who feels what you feel, and you are the only one who knows what you need. If you are not sure what this is, ask for help. There are a ton of healthcare practitioners who dedicate their lives to help us heal. 
 
You can do very powerful and simple things to restore your balance. Take a break from your routine, go on a vacation by yourself, don’t talk to anyone for a few days, sleep without an alarm clock, get in touch with yourself, meditate, walk barefoot in nature, listen to the birds singing, move your body, sweat!, sing, play an instrument, turn off your phone and be there for yourself. 
 
If you, like me, have spent too much time by yourself, then start connecting with people that are worthy of your company in positive ways. Reach out to old friends, engage in activities with others like playing sports, planting seeds, cooking together, being part of a music circle… Just remember that the connection that needs to be the most solid and nourished is the one with yourself. From this place you can then build connections and relationships with others.

If you’ve feel like you’ve already done all of this and are still in a critical situation, remember your body is your sacred temple where the soul resides. You may be not perceiving something, so be sure to listen, letting go of your ego. 

We vibrate high when we open our hearts and let ourselves be, letting go of anything that doesn’t add to our life in a positive way. Little by little, the world becomes a better place.

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